Attendants
Choosing Your Bridal Party:
Determining you bridal party is one of the most harrowing decisions
you will make while planning your wedding. You first must determine
the number of attendants then fill these slots with your friends
and family. Let us just say this, "You are going to make
a mistake, some feelings between friends and family will be
hurt, but stand by your decision." Your first decisions
are generally the best, go with these instincts.
Here are a few pointers to help you on your way. Start by
eyeing the size of your ceremony site. Many sites just may
not accommodate a large bridal party. It may be physically
impossible to place more than 6 attendants at smaller venues.
You must remember that certain fixtures at the ceremony site
are "fixed", that is they cannot be moved to accommodate
more attendants.
Choose your attendants very carefully, you must be sure that
they will still be close to you at the time of your wedding.
This may rule out some of your business colleagues, especially
if you are considering a career move. Remember that many friends
may be unwilling to travel a great distance to your ceremony.
There will be some pressure to place members of your family
in the bridal party. Make sure that you are certain of these
choices before yielding to the family. Childhood friends may
have become too distant, to choose. Your wedding also symbolizes
your future, so pick some attendants who you will cherish
as time passes.
If you find it difficult to tell an anxious friend or loved
family member on your decision not to include them, you will
find it easier to break this news to them either in person
or by letter. People have become too used to phone calls,
so will respond more positively to your use of another way
to tell them. Try to keep your selections a closely guarded
secret, so you have the opportunity to tell these disappointed
people before they hear through the grapevine. It is always
easier to explain to the other party on your problems in choosing
your bridal party, and telling them the truth about having
to decide between friends, family, cost and size of the bridal
party.
The selection of a bridal party also
gives you some more power in concluding other facets of your
wedding. For instance, if your sister-in-law must be included
in the party, and you compromise on a friend, then stand fast
on another decision, such as if you want the wedding in a
certain location and your mother-in-law wants it in another.
Remember that your wedding, as well as your life is full of
compromises and pick and choose yours wisely. Just make sure
that you can live with these decisions, as long as you feel
as your wedding is still under control.
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